October holds so many memories for me. Some are good memories, some are not so good.
10 years ago I started dating the love of my life. I don't know how to even describe Seth and me. From the moment we started dating, we were inseparable. We spent the first 36 hours together falling in love. Then we went on a week long bike ride with his family to Tennessee. I was done looking. I had found him. But 4 years later, in Daytona Beach, FL during Biketoberfest, I knew in my heart that it was over between us. We broke up shortly after that, and I have never been in love so deeply or had anywhere near the same kind of connection with any other person.
4 years ago I put in my two weeks notice at the hotel where I was working. In October 2006, I packed up everything I owned and moved to Dallas, TX. I had never lived outside Indiana, and I had never been out of driving distance of my parents. I left my life. I had good friends in Indy that helped me get through the devastation after Seth. But, they were all moving on with their lives, getting married, having kids. I was on my own. With the opportunity to further my career and experience life outside of Indiana, I left on a journey. I learned a lot about myself in Texas. I met a boy, we dated, I fell in love...he didn't. October 2009 was my first trip to New York City to visit this boy I loved. It was there, after almost 2 years of dating on and off, that I finally realized that it wasn't me he wanted.
Fast forward one year to this October. Here I am back in Indianapolis, back at that very same hotel I left 4 years ago, in the very same office. Much is the same, but plenty is different. I find myself reflecting on my October memories this year, as yet another relationship possibility passes me by. I miss October in Dallas. I miss the state fair, I miss the haunted house in Fort Worth...and most of all I miss my friends. I know my friends are spread out all over the country now, but the people I met in Dallas I will always remember fondly, especially in October. October has been a month of beginnings and changes and endings for me. Despite it all, it has always been my favorite month. But I think from now on, I'll take vacations in a different month.