you're jealous of your 82 year old grandma

At Thanksgiving dinner last night, my 82 year old grandma announced that she and her boyfriend of about 3 years have decided to get married.

I am SO happy for her, because she is the cutest lady and is so incredibly happy to have found this man. They have so much in common, and have known each other since high school, I mean seriously, how freakin cute is that.

My grandma was married for over 50 years to the love of her life, my grandpa. She was devastated when he died, and years later ran into her current boyfriend, whose wife had died about a year before he met back up with my grandma. They started hanging out, going to dinner, to concerts, traveling...and now have decided to be married. Between the two of them, they have 120 years of marriage and are both lucky enough to have found someone else to spend the rest of their days with.

Now, why, might you ask would I be jealous of this? That's simple...both of these folks have found two great loves of their life. Proving that their isn't just one person out there for everyone, its all a matter of timing and common interest and respect and companionship. I'm a bit jealous because at 31 years old I haven't been able to experience that kind of love even once. I feel like I may have come close at a couple different times in my life, but something always ends up falling apart. I can only hope to be as happy as my grandma when I'm her age.

when you wake up fighting

So, over the past 6 days, since the horrible date incident, I have been waiting for an answer. Part of this man wants me in his life, and another part does not. The part of him that wants me around is only visible when he is sober...unfortunately, he spends most of his free time drunk.

Well, last night was no exception, and he was a complete jerk to me. I will admit that right now, I'm a bit on the crazy side...I mean, really, who likes to sit around waiting for someone else to decide his/her fate. I ask too many questions, and last night he decided to ignore all these questions, well, at least until after the bar closed when he called me at 2:45am. I was in no mood at this point, until I get a text saying "I'm gay. Eff off already." This message upset and confused me even more, was it true? was he just trying to be funny? I had to know, so I called him. He was so drunk he couldn't get much of a sentence out...

So, I was very upset at the whole chain of events and sent a rather nasty text myself, so that he would see it in the morning and hopefully remember what a jerk he was. Just as expected, he called first thing this morning claiming he didn't remember talking to me. We went round and round as we usually do...him with his "I'm sorry" and me with my "why cant' you like me" routine...all the while no answers being given.

I've become obsessed that he's going out with other women, and constantly asking him about his every move. He seems to be drinking more and more. WHAT AM I DOING??? This guy has ruined, completely ruined my entire vacation, not to mention Thanksgiving with my family. He obviously does not have the ability to consider my feelings in this situation at all. Why do I think this guy is good for me? He doesn't seem too concerned with the fact he may lose me...for good. At least if I wasn't around, no one would be calling him out on his inappropriate behavior, and he could drink his liver out without anyone saying a word.

a date goes horribly wrong

So, a bit of history...I started dating a guy in March of this year and was really excited about the possibilities. He seemed different than guys I had dated in the past. He was sweet, funny, generous and seemed to really like me. This guy was and still is a really good guy.

Well...things can change in an instant for no apparent reason. After about 4 months of dating things shifted, he stopped being interested in me. He and I broke up. I was given the reason "I don't think I can make you happy." I've heard this before from the last 4 guys I dated. About 3 months after we broke up, we starting hanging out again, and talking more and more. I thought we were headed down the road to reconciliation...

Last week, he invited me to a nice dinner for this past Friday night. We had never gone out on a date like this, so naturally, I was very excited. I, being a dumb girl, thought he would profess his love for me and we would live happily ever after.

Well, instead of that...he showed up drunk and drove me to the restaurant (I didn't know just how much he had to drink, or I wouldn't have gotten in the car). We had some decent conversation until he brought up the fact that he thinks all women are cheaters and none of them can be trusted...and even though he thinks I'm a "good" girl, in 5 years I would probably end up just cheating on him because all women do.

After some debating on this fact, he brings up his ex-girlfriend and proceeds to start crying at the dinner table about the fact this girl was recently married. As if I didn't feel worthless enough at this point...

So, we finish up dinner and even though I told him I didn't want to stay out late that night because I had a flight in the morning, he wanted to go meet up with some of his friends...and even though I told him I was very angry, he continued on to pick up his friend, instead of stopping to take my feelings into consideration.

Needless to say, when we got to the restaurant to meet his friends, I was in no mood to socialize...especially not with a group of people who could only talk about inside jokes that I wasn't a part of. I felt so uncomfortable, so I excused myself to the restroom and had a mini melt down. I decided I couldn't stay in the situation so called a friend to come get me.

When I returned to the table, my date sent me a text message from across the table (because heaven forbid he speak to me directly) and asked me if I wanted to go home. Well, a little too late. I sent him a message back letting him know I had a friend coming to get me. This did not please him, but at this point I no longer cared about how he felt, as he obviously cared nothing about my feelings that night.

I got home, and at about the exact moment I started to feel relief that I was no longer in that situation, I realized...he had left his computer in my apartment...and I was leaving for vacation the next day. I had to see him again that night.

So, I asked him to come get it. He came over and I walked his computer down to him...and then stood there in the freezing cold while we fought a bit more. After coming to no conclusions, and knowing that he just wanted to get back to drinking with his friends, I went back upstairs. We then sent text messages back and forth for about 30 minutes...while he sat in my garage, being too much of an idiot to come up to my apartment and have a normal conversation. He finally ended up leaving to go back to his friends, leaving me heartbroken and with no answers.

things go bad

This incident occured March 26, 2006 while I was living in Indianapolis, IN:

So, I don't cook very often. Not a surprise when its just me living here...but last week I decided to cook some Lipton Cheddar and Broccoli rice for myself. Well, I didn't eat the whole thing because the package serves about 10 people. The bowl was still really hot, so I put it in the microwave to keep it warm, just in case I wanted more. Needless to say, I forgot the rice was in the microwave, and instead of moving it to the fridge where it belonged, it stayed in the microwave.

Imagine my surprise when I get home from a weekend out of town, to walk into my apartment which reaks to high heaven of something horribly putrid! I couldn't for the life of me figure out where the stench was coming from...until I'm in the shower and it came to me...That DAMN rice.
It was awful, not only did it stink up my apartment, but the microwave itself gave off a retched odor when I opened the door. My poor cat had to live with the smell all weekend, poor thing.

Thank god for the power of vinegar...the smell is fading, and I won't be cooking again for awhile!

you don't have a camera when you need one

This incident occured on July 30, 2008:

I was on my way home tonight and made a pit stop at the 7-11 just a few blocks from my place. As I pulled in, there was a car partially blocking the entrance that had smoke pouring out of the engine. I thought I noticed a glowing underneath the car, but the driver was getting out...so I didn't pay much attention to it.

I parked and proceeded into the store and made my purchase. This took about 2 minutes. By the time I walked out of the store, a small blaze had started under the smoking car...please keep in mind this is all happening a mere 5 feet from the gas pumps.

I had left my phone at home (to avoid checking for messages that would never come), so I went inside the store and let the clerks (all three of them) know that there was a car on fire in the parking lot.

Rather than immediately calling 911, one of them grabbed a small fire extiguisher and came outside. After fumbling around with the extinguisher for a few minutes (all the while the flames getting larger and now about 2 feet above the car) finally went back inside to call the fire department.

Now, not only do I have to wonder why the clerks didn't dial 911 immediately, but why on earth wouldn't the owners of that car-who were on their cell phone with someone-call the fire department as soon as the fire was noticed? By the time the fire fighters got there the entire front of this car was engulfed in flames. The car, needless to say, was ... (fill in the blank).
People never cease to amaze me. I only wished I did have my phone so I could've taken a picture of the ridculous scene. And...maybe I should have stuck around to meet some fire fighters...hmmm...shoulda coulda woulda, right?