So, I woke up Tuesday morning with one of the worst migraine headaches I've had in a long time. I had the upset stomach, sensitivity to light and sound and a pounding like you wouldn't believe in my head. So, I decided work was not an option and went back to bed.
I had had an upset stomach all weekend due to what I thought was stress...but by Tuesday evening it still hadn't gone away. I made it into work on Wednesday for the whole three hours I was required to be there, but was actually feeling much better. Better enough to join some friends at Medevial Times for a nice entertaining dinner-tickets were on sale because, really?, who goes to Medevial Times on Christmas Eve? A bunch of people with no family or loved ones in town.
On a side note...Medevial Times is pretty good times. I was a bit worried about eating with my hands, especially when the girl dropped half a chicken on my plate. But all in all, it was a good time and I'm really glad I decided to get out and be social for a few hours.
Ok, so back to Christmas Eve. My friend Shane called and I ended up meeting up with him for a few beers and some good conversation, I was still feeling much better at this point than I had over the past few days. I went home, crawled into bed and got ready for a nice long rest.
I woke up Christmas day around 11:30am and decided to cook myself some eggs and sausage. I whipped up some eggs and decided I would get a bit creative and throw in some cheese (I know, I'm crazy!). Well, I checked the expiration date on the cheese, which had not passed, but the cheese smelled a bit off. I didn't think much about it, because its cheese and sometimes cheese smells bad. I sat down with my scrambled eggs and sausage and watched A Christmas Story, which happened to be at the exact point it was when I had turned it off the night before. Gotta love TBS.
I have a friend from work who is from Dallas and last year his mom invited me and some other people with no where to go over for Christmas dinner. I got the same invitation this year, so I got up and showered and got ready to go. Dinner was amazing, and great company. She even went out and bought a bunch of gift cards to different places for a gift exchange. People's kindness is always a pleasant surprise.
A little bit after dinner, my tummy starting rumbling. This was not a good thing, as I have experienced this feeling before. I collected my belongings, along with a ton of leftovers, said my thank you's and proceeded to drive as fast as I could to make it home before I made a huge mess in my car. I got home just in time, and without going into too much detail, for the next 6 hours every 15-20 minutes my bodily functions took over. Whatever was in my body needed to be out and it didn't matter how. I had heard of this happening to other people, and always wondered if it ever happened to me how I would handle it. With a trash can...
There are no words to describle what a horrible night I had, I spent a good deal of the night on the bathroom floor because it got to the point where as soon as I laid down in bed, I had to get back up. I had been pretty sick before...but nothing compared to the violent illness I experienced on Thursday night. I haven't been able to figure out if it was the questionable cheese that I ate for breakfast that morning, or if it was just something that had been creeping up on me for a few days.
Needless to say, I missed work again on Friday, so I'm sure all of my hotels and coworkers think that I'm a big slacker and just don't want to come to work. I haven't felt right since, but I've started to get my appetite back. On a positive note, expelling everything from your body for 6 hours straight is a pretty good diet aid. I haven't had this flat of a tummy in years!
These are the stories of a single 30-something girl trying to keep a positive attitude about life. However, sometimes it really sucks.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
you have to say goodbye
but just don't know how to let it go.
I've done this before...I've let people go. Why is it so different with BD? The ongoing saga continued over the past week starting last weekend when I stayed with him on Friday night and spent all Saturday morning with him running errands and having breakfast, topped off with a great nap. Things seemed to be getting back to some normalcy.
Then...I picked a fight on Monday due to some pictures that he posted on his blog. He had told me I wasn't invited out to the bars on Saturday night because it wasn't a good idea to have girls around...yet he posted pictures of him with some girls. The thing that upset me most about this was that he and I have ZERO pictures together. I'm not a part of any of his memories, even though we've been doing this on and off thing for almost a year now. I guess it just hurts that we have no pictures together...I know this may seem stupid to some of you. Anyway, I explained this to him and at the time he seemed to understand my feelings about it.
On Wednesday night...or rather very early Thursday morning he called after an evening at a strip club. I couldn't figure out why he felt the need to call me that night to tell me what he had been doing, but we actually had a decent conversation and at the end of the call he told me that he liked me and that he wanted to work things out with me.
Now, of course, this is exactly what I had been waiting for since about July when we first broke up. Just to be sure...Thursday afternoon I asked him if what he said was true or if he was just drunk. He said he meant it. But then...he came back from Florida (where he is currently working on a project and travels Monday through Friday). Also during our phone conversation he had said "I'll see you on Friday".
I sent a text Friday afternoon to confirm and he told me he has plans with a friend visiting from London that he had forgotten about...yet does not invite me along. After a few text exchanges, and after I got upset, he told me "you can come out, if you want." Now, maybe this is just me being a dumb girl, but somehow I didn't get the feeling he actually wanted me out with him...and VOILA, I was right. He did not call or text when he landed and did not actually ever invite me out...my level of upset escalated to pissed at this point. We continued fighting over text Saturday morning.
So, at this point he did not have any plans for Saturday night, he had some options, none of which he said he wanted to do, and that maybe we could go to dinner. "Maybe" being the key word in that sentence. Well, after a couple days worth of stress, my stomach was very upset, so I told him I wanted to stay home and thought it would be nice if he came over. Now, all of sudden, he made plans to go out to a party, but said he would only stay a couple hours and would come over after. Well, three hours later I still hadn't heard from him, so decided to go to bed. He never called, and not being able to sleep at 1am I finally called him. He said he didn't call, even though he said he would, because I said I was going to bed. Whatever. He was too tired to speak to me that night.
So, that brings us to today. This afternoon, we had what I thought was a fairly productive conversation, and I had calmed down a bit from the earlier drama. Then, I asked him to sleep over tonight. All hell has broken loose from this seemingly small request. At first he said he couldn't because he had a late hockey game, but maybe tomorrow. But then he said I could come to his place tomorrow, and when I asked why he couldn't stay at my place I got the following answer:
1. Cats
2. I'm leaving Wednesday
3. I never get to sleep in my dirty ass bed
4. I have shit to do around my place
So, I asked him if he would every stay at my place again. He said he didn't plan on anything, but that he doesn't like staying with me. Ok GREAT, now I'll be sure to invite him over all the time. After further conversation, I asked him to explain our conversation on Wednesday night. He had the nerve to ask me "what time did I call" and proceeded to tell me he had no idea what he even said that night. He is acting like the biggest jerk right now, and everytime I get over one thing he turns around and does something else that he knows will upset me, as if to upset me on purpose. That's just downright MEAN.
So, I have to ask myself yet again What am I Doing??? What am I DOING??? Why can't I let this one go? I know I should, I'm letting him drive me so crazy I've been sick to my stomach all weekend, not eating, not sleeping. I've walked away from guys before, I know how to do this...but I can't do it. I can't not talk to him, I can't not keep hoping that this will work out in my favor.
So, I find myself a very similar situation as I was in Indianapolis just over 2 years ago. Most of my friends have moved on with their lives, living in different cities, serious boyfriends or married, having kids...and I'm so happy for all them, however, I feel like I've been left behind yet again. And I'm left pining away for some guy who so obviously does not want to be with me. I left Indianapolis to start a new life, and ended up with the exact same life. I'm miserable, I'm sad, I'm lonely...
The next step...finding a way to be happy again. I'm just not too sure where to start.
I've done this before...I've let people go. Why is it so different with BD? The ongoing saga continued over the past week starting last weekend when I stayed with him on Friday night and spent all Saturday morning with him running errands and having breakfast, topped off with a great nap. Things seemed to be getting back to some normalcy.
Then...I picked a fight on Monday due to some pictures that he posted on his blog. He had told me I wasn't invited out to the bars on Saturday night because it wasn't a good idea to have girls around...yet he posted pictures of him with some girls. The thing that upset me most about this was that he and I have ZERO pictures together. I'm not a part of any of his memories, even though we've been doing this on and off thing for almost a year now. I guess it just hurts that we have no pictures together...I know this may seem stupid to some of you. Anyway, I explained this to him and at the time he seemed to understand my feelings about it.
On Wednesday night...or rather very early Thursday morning he called after an evening at a strip club. I couldn't figure out why he felt the need to call me that night to tell me what he had been doing, but we actually had a decent conversation and at the end of the call he told me that he liked me and that he wanted to work things out with me.
Now, of course, this is exactly what I had been waiting for since about July when we first broke up. Just to be sure...Thursday afternoon I asked him if what he said was true or if he was just drunk. He said he meant it. But then...he came back from Florida (where he is currently working on a project and travels Monday through Friday). Also during our phone conversation he had said "I'll see you on Friday".
I sent a text Friday afternoon to confirm and he told me he has plans with a friend visiting from London that he had forgotten about...yet does not invite me along. After a few text exchanges, and after I got upset, he told me "you can come out, if you want." Now, maybe this is just me being a dumb girl, but somehow I didn't get the feeling he actually wanted me out with him...and VOILA, I was right. He did not call or text when he landed and did not actually ever invite me out...my level of upset escalated to pissed at this point. We continued fighting over text Saturday morning.
So, at this point he did not have any plans for Saturday night, he had some options, none of which he said he wanted to do, and that maybe we could go to dinner. "Maybe" being the key word in that sentence. Well, after a couple days worth of stress, my stomach was very upset, so I told him I wanted to stay home and thought it would be nice if he came over. Now, all of sudden, he made plans to go out to a party, but said he would only stay a couple hours and would come over after. Well, three hours later I still hadn't heard from him, so decided to go to bed. He never called, and not being able to sleep at 1am I finally called him. He said he didn't call, even though he said he would, because I said I was going to bed. Whatever. He was too tired to speak to me that night.
So, that brings us to today. This afternoon, we had what I thought was a fairly productive conversation, and I had calmed down a bit from the earlier drama. Then, I asked him to sleep over tonight. All hell has broken loose from this seemingly small request. At first he said he couldn't because he had a late hockey game, but maybe tomorrow. But then he said I could come to his place tomorrow, and when I asked why he couldn't stay at my place I got the following answer:
1. Cats
2. I'm leaving Wednesday
3. I never get to sleep in my dirty ass bed
4. I have shit to do around my place
So, I asked him if he would every stay at my place again. He said he didn't plan on anything, but that he doesn't like staying with me. Ok GREAT, now I'll be sure to invite him over all the time. After further conversation, I asked him to explain our conversation on Wednesday night. He had the nerve to ask me "what time did I call" and proceeded to tell me he had no idea what he even said that night. He is acting like the biggest jerk right now, and everytime I get over one thing he turns around and does something else that he knows will upset me, as if to upset me on purpose. That's just downright MEAN.
So, I have to ask myself yet again What am I Doing??? What am I DOING??? Why can't I let this one go? I know I should, I'm letting him drive me so crazy I've been sick to my stomach all weekend, not eating, not sleeping. I've walked away from guys before, I know how to do this...but I can't do it. I can't not talk to him, I can't not keep hoping that this will work out in my favor.
So, I find myself a very similar situation as I was in Indianapolis just over 2 years ago. Most of my friends have moved on with their lives, living in different cities, serious boyfriends or married, having kids...and I'm so happy for all them, however, I feel like I've been left behind yet again. And I'm left pining away for some guy who so obviously does not want to be with me. I left Indianapolis to start a new life, and ended up with the exact same life. I'm miserable, I'm sad, I'm lonely...
The next step...finding a way to be happy again. I'm just not too sure where to start.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Dallas weather sucks!
I know many of you cold weather state living folks will not appreciate how much it sucks down here sometimes...
Picture this...a nice Sunday afternoon, high temperature of about 79 degrees. You may think...is it May? No my friends, its December 14th and I found myself with too many shirts on for comfort as I left the bowling alley Sunday afternoon. I immediately went home and put on a t-shirt and flip flops. It stayed in the 70's until around 10:30pm when, within about an hour and a half, the temperature dropped about 30 degrees into the 40's and just went down from there. By the time I woke up for work Monday morning it was about 29 degrees.
Last night about the time I left work (8pm) it started "raining". I say rain, because it wasn't fully ice yet to be classified as sleet. I hoped and prayed it would keep up all night so we could have a "snow-day" at work and work from home-or sleep all day long. I was fairly surprised, however, that the sand trucks were already out in full effect last night. For once this city was prepared for a weather event!
It should be cold all day today, staying close to freezing, just enough to ice over bridges and overpasses and make people drive like idiots. Hopefully it will warm up just enough that my drive home won't be too bad.
Tomorrow should warm up to the 50's and by this weekend...back in the 70s just to have it all happen again when the temps drop to the 30's on Sunday. It's really no wonder I get some sort of bronchial illness every year down here this time of year.
Picture this...a nice Sunday afternoon, high temperature of about 79 degrees. You may think...is it May? No my friends, its December 14th and I found myself with too many shirts on for comfort as I left the bowling alley Sunday afternoon. I immediately went home and put on a t-shirt and flip flops. It stayed in the 70's until around 10:30pm when, within about an hour and a half, the temperature dropped about 30 degrees into the 40's and just went down from there. By the time I woke up for work Monday morning it was about 29 degrees.
Last night about the time I left work (8pm) it started "raining". I say rain, because it wasn't fully ice yet to be classified as sleet. I hoped and prayed it would keep up all night so we could have a "snow-day" at work and work from home-or sleep all day long. I was fairly surprised, however, that the sand trucks were already out in full effect last night. For once this city was prepared for a weather event!
It should be cold all day today, staying close to freezing, just enough to ice over bridges and overpasses and make people drive like idiots. Hopefully it will warm up just enough that my drive home won't be too bad.
Tomorrow should warm up to the 50's and by this weekend...back in the 70s just to have it all happen again when the temps drop to the 30's on Sunday. It's really no wonder I get some sort of bronchial illness every year down here this time of year.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
you meet a nice, very cute boy at a party
Ok...so that doesn't really suck AT ALL.
Yesterday I woke up with a feeling...as mad as I am/was at "BD"-for Bad Date guy (I don't think I've mentioned his name yet, and I guess to be an adult I don't need to reveal his identity-even though any of you who know me, knows who "BD" is)as mad as I was for him blowing me off all weekend and pretty much this whole week as well, I woke up with a feeling that yesterday was going to be a good day. I knew I had this party to attend after work, so I tried to look as cute as possible knowing I had to work all day and try to be presentable later on.
Anyway...we get to the party-it was at this hotel here in Dallas called the MCM Elegante. They recently renovated their ballroom and guest rooms, and were having a Grand Opening type of event. One of the girls here at work knows a girl at the hotel, so we got invited to go. Free food, free drinks and good people watching. How better a way to spend a random Tuesday night.
So, we get there, get settled in with our plates of food...and out of the corner of my eye I see this man standing a few feet away. He immediately caught my attention, as he was very well dressed and incredibly cute. I started scoping out the ring situation, and soon discovered there was none. Yea!
Now, I'm shy and dumb and never in a million years would I approach someone I thought was attractive...but I will stare uncomfortably until eye contact is made...which is what happened. And after a couple eye contact encounters, I got a smile. Now, we did this for about 40 minutes...catching each others eye, smiling and moving on. Then I got my chance. He got up and stood in line at the bar right by our table. I just sat in my chair and blushed, but thankfully the table of girls I was with urged me to get up for a drink of my own.
So, I got up and stood behind him in line...now here's where I got a stroke of pure luck. He ordered something that the bartender did not have, she had to leave the bar to go get it. This was my opportunity to speak to him...so I did. And we had a nice chat for a few minutes. I learned that he was the banker for the owners of the hotel, and the kicker...from Odessa, TX-about 6 hours from here. NUTS!
Anyway, we did the whole "it was nice to meet you" bit and split ways. A bit later, all of us ladies were getting up to leave and standing in the lobby area waiting for one of the girls to say goodbye to her friend. I had wanted to give this man my business card, but alas, was too much of a chicken to approach him again. Luckily, I didn't have to...he had followed me out into the lobby to say goodbye and after he introduced himself to all my friends, I handed him my card and let him know to get a hold of me next time he was in town. We split ways again...but he shortly returned, pulling me away from the group and asked if I'd like to go grab a drink with him right then. YES!!! Although, I was a bit more reserved. I said goodbye to my friends, and off we went.
We had a very enjoyable couple hours just chatting and getting to know each other. It was incredibly refreshing to spend time with someone who was genuinely interested in what I had to say. I went home that night with a renewed sense of confidence and not even thinking about "BD". Even if I never see this man again...I will always remember that feeling he provided-I truely felt like a beautiful person last night and I hadn't felt that way in a very long time.
Yesterday I woke up with a feeling...as mad as I am/was at "BD"-for Bad Date guy (I don't think I've mentioned his name yet, and I guess to be an adult I don't need to reveal his identity-even though any of you who know me, knows who "BD" is)as mad as I was for him blowing me off all weekend and pretty much this whole week as well, I woke up with a feeling that yesterday was going to be a good day. I knew I had this party to attend after work, so I tried to look as cute as possible knowing I had to work all day and try to be presentable later on.
Anyway...we get to the party-it was at this hotel here in Dallas called the MCM Elegante. They recently renovated their ballroom and guest rooms, and were having a Grand Opening type of event. One of the girls here at work knows a girl at the hotel, so we got invited to go. Free food, free drinks and good people watching. How better a way to spend a random Tuesday night.
So, we get there, get settled in with our plates of food...and out of the corner of my eye I see this man standing a few feet away. He immediately caught my attention, as he was very well dressed and incredibly cute. I started scoping out the ring situation, and soon discovered there was none. Yea!
Now, I'm shy and dumb and never in a million years would I approach someone I thought was attractive...but I will stare uncomfortably until eye contact is made...which is what happened. And after a couple eye contact encounters, I got a smile. Now, we did this for about 40 minutes...catching each others eye, smiling and moving on. Then I got my chance. He got up and stood in line at the bar right by our table. I just sat in my chair and blushed, but thankfully the table of girls I was with urged me to get up for a drink of my own.
So, I got up and stood behind him in line...now here's where I got a stroke of pure luck. He ordered something that the bartender did not have, she had to leave the bar to go get it. This was my opportunity to speak to him...so I did. And we had a nice chat for a few minutes. I learned that he was the banker for the owners of the hotel, and the kicker...from Odessa, TX-about 6 hours from here. NUTS!
Anyway, we did the whole "it was nice to meet you" bit and split ways. A bit later, all of us ladies were getting up to leave and standing in the lobby area waiting for one of the girls to say goodbye to her friend. I had wanted to give this man my business card, but alas, was too much of a chicken to approach him again. Luckily, I didn't have to...he had followed me out into the lobby to say goodbye and after he introduced himself to all my friends, I handed him my card and let him know to get a hold of me next time he was in town. We split ways again...but he shortly returned, pulling me away from the group and asked if I'd like to go grab a drink with him right then. YES!!! Although, I was a bit more reserved. I said goodbye to my friends, and off we went.
We had a very enjoyable couple hours just chatting and getting to know each other. It was incredibly refreshing to spend time with someone who was genuinely interested in what I had to say. I went home that night with a renewed sense of confidence and not even thinking about "BD". Even if I never see this man again...I will always remember that feeling he provided-I truely felt like a beautiful person last night and I hadn't felt that way in a very long time.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
stores stop making the things you need
Before I left for vacation, I went to Bath and Body Works and bought some travel sized shampoo and conditioner. It was the Eucalyptus Spearmint Volumizing Shampoo and Conditioner.
After using this product for about a week, I LOVED it. It made my hair so soft and shiny and unlike many other "volumizing" products, this actually added a bit of body to my limp and lifeless hair.
Well, travel sizes don't last too long, and I soon ran out. So, last weekend I went to Bath and Body Works in Mockingbird Station...they had the conditioner in stock, but no shampoo. I asked the sales clerk if they would be getting anymore and she told me they should be getting a shipment in within the next few days. So, instead of waiting, I headed up to NorthPark mall. I encounter the same thing...conditioner was there but no shampoo. I asked the sales clerk there if they would be getting anymore of the shampoo and I got the same response, within a couple days.
So, I waited and today I went back to Mockingbird Station to find only the conditioner sitting on the shelf. So, I immediately left and went back to NorthPark (where, by the way, parking sucked and the place was a madhouse because only crazy people go to the mall between Thanksgiving and Christmas-but I went anyway). Again, only conditioner on the shelf. So, I asked again...and was told they probably would not be getting anymore in stock, but to check online.
In a previous blog, I believe I shared my feelings on online shopping...but left with no other option I went to the B&BW website to find the following statement when searching for the shampoo I so desperately want: "We're sorry, this product is currently unavailable. Please check again soon or try the store nearest you." The store nearest me? Really? Not so much...
Seriously? Why do stores do this to people? Victoria's Secret did the exact same thing with the bra that I love...just stopped making it. Maybe it's just God's way of telling me that I don't need to be spending money on these things and to just make do with less desireable products. I'm still not happy about it.
After using this product for about a week, I LOVED it. It made my hair so soft and shiny and unlike many other "volumizing" products, this actually added a bit of body to my limp and lifeless hair.
Well, travel sizes don't last too long, and I soon ran out. So, last weekend I went to Bath and Body Works in Mockingbird Station...they had the conditioner in stock, but no shampoo. I asked the sales clerk if they would be getting anymore and she told me they should be getting a shipment in within the next few days. So, instead of waiting, I headed up to NorthPark mall. I encounter the same thing...conditioner was there but no shampoo. I asked the sales clerk there if they would be getting anymore of the shampoo and I got the same response, within a couple days.
So, I waited and today I went back to Mockingbird Station to find only the conditioner sitting on the shelf. So, I immediately left and went back to NorthPark (where, by the way, parking sucked and the place was a madhouse because only crazy people go to the mall between Thanksgiving and Christmas-but I went anyway). Again, only conditioner on the shelf. So, I asked again...and was told they probably would not be getting anymore in stock, but to check online.
In a previous blog, I believe I shared my feelings on online shopping...but left with no other option I went to the B&BW website to find the following statement when searching for the shampoo I so desperately want: "We're sorry, this product is currently unavailable. Please check again soon or try the store nearest you." The store nearest me? Really? Not so much...
Seriously? Why do stores do this to people? Victoria's Secret did the exact same thing with the bra that I love...just stopped making it. Maybe it's just God's way of telling me that I don't need to be spending money on these things and to just make do with less desireable products. I'm still not happy about it.
Friday, December 5, 2008
you can't stop crying
Espcially when you're not even sure why you keep doing it. It started last night...for no apparent reason I just kept crying. Not ugly crying, but crying non the less.
And then it happened again this morning in the car. This morning was triggered by a song. By Your Side by Sade...man, I swear that song does it every time. But today was different. Today and maybe even last night I think I started admitting something to myself that I hadn't wanted to face.
It's not going to work out for me. This thing with him...
He can't make any kind of plan with me, he still hasn't given me any indication that he actually likes me and besides that he has so much planned for next year that between him traveling Monday through Friday for work and his travel plans for like half the weekends of the year, I won't ever see him anyway. He doesn't care to make me a priority in his life, nor does he even care to make me a part of his life. I've caught glimpses of his ability to do so over the past month...but it never lasts.
I again ask myself the question...what am I doing? I need some plans for this weekend so that I'm not sitting around waiting for him to have nothing better to do-as I am around only as a last resort. Anyway, he's got his holiday party on Saturday night, which I was conveniently un-invited to attend. He'll probably be a drunk idiot all weekend anyway...I need to let this go...and move on with my life.
And then it happened again this morning in the car. This morning was triggered by a song. By Your Side by Sade...man, I swear that song does it every time. But today was different. Today and maybe even last night I think I started admitting something to myself that I hadn't wanted to face.
It's not going to work out for me. This thing with him...
He can't make any kind of plan with me, he still hasn't given me any indication that he actually likes me and besides that he has so much planned for next year that between him traveling Monday through Friday for work and his travel plans for like half the weekends of the year, I won't ever see him anyway. He doesn't care to make me a priority in his life, nor does he even care to make me a part of his life. I've caught glimpses of his ability to do so over the past month...but it never lasts.
I again ask myself the question...what am I doing? I need some plans for this weekend so that I'm not sitting around waiting for him to have nothing better to do-as I am around only as a last resort. Anyway, he's got his holiday party on Saturday night, which I was conveniently un-invited to attend. He'll probably be a drunk idiot all weekend anyway...I need to let this go...and move on with my life.
Monday, December 1, 2008
your finger starts gushing blood in Ikea
When I moved into my new place in October, I saw a bedside table at Ikea that I wanted. Unfortunately at the time they didn't have this particular item in stock at the Frisco store. I'm not the biggest fan of ordering things online, which I totally could have done but didn't, because when I buy something I like to have it NOW.
Anyway, periodically I would check online to see if this item was in stock...and lo and behold, when I looked today it was there! Imagine my excitement...a day off work and exactly what I've been wanting, in stock and just waiting for me to go get it!
So, up to Frisco I went. I found some other things I liked, because heaven forbid you go into Ikea and not walk out with something more than you planned! I eventually made my way down to the warehouse part to pick up the boxes with the bedside tables. Now, these tables aren't huge, and its Ikea, so they aren't made out of super high grade wood...right? Well, I'm a small girl with apparently very weak arms...because I went to pull one of the boxes down off the shelf and I couldn't even move it. So, I tried again, this time with a bit more effort and CRACK! The fingernail on my middle finger SNAPPED off...tearing off just below where the nail meets the finger. It was all I could do not to yell profanities in the aisle, it hurt SO bad...and then blood started pooring out of the top of my finger. I had to put my bag of goods down immediately and find a band-aid.
I located an employee and showed her my problem, and asked if there was any way she could locate a band-aid for me. She looked at me horrified and rushed off assuring me she'd be right back. She returned and gave me three band-aids (I'm telling you, there was a lot of blood) and I proceeded to the restroom to tend to my wound. Now, I can't fully explain how badly this nail break was, and if you've never had this happen to you, you may just think I'm being a dumb girl. But the nail was torn so far down on my actual finger, I ended up having to clip the nail off...because it was still partly attached and ripping it off at this point would have likely caused me to pass out. Although clipping the nail wasn't all that pleasant either, I winced through the pain and other patron's sideways stares in the bathroom, bandaged myself up and went back to my shopping.
I finally managed to get the boxes with the bedside tables onto the cart and even managed to load them into the car with no further injuries. The problem now...getting them into my apartment. Two lessons learned today...never go to Ikea alone because you may need help with the heavy lifting and always carry band-aids in your purse. And the kicker is...I waited all this time until the store had these tables in stock so I could have them the day I bought them...I still have to wait until I can find someone to help me carry them inside. Who knows how long that could take?
Anyway, periodically I would check online to see if this item was in stock...and lo and behold, when I looked today it was there! Imagine my excitement...a day off work and exactly what I've been wanting, in stock and just waiting for me to go get it!
So, up to Frisco I went. I found some other things I liked, because heaven forbid you go into Ikea and not walk out with something more than you planned! I eventually made my way down to the warehouse part to pick up the boxes with the bedside tables. Now, these tables aren't huge, and its Ikea, so they aren't made out of super high grade wood...right? Well, I'm a small girl with apparently very weak arms...because I went to pull one of the boxes down off the shelf and I couldn't even move it. So, I tried again, this time with a bit more effort and CRACK! The fingernail on my middle finger SNAPPED off...tearing off just below where the nail meets the finger. It was all I could do not to yell profanities in the aisle, it hurt SO bad...and then blood started pooring out of the top of my finger. I had to put my bag of goods down immediately and find a band-aid.
I located an employee and showed her my problem, and asked if there was any way she could locate a band-aid for me. She looked at me horrified and rushed off assuring me she'd be right back. She returned and gave me three band-aids (I'm telling you, there was a lot of blood) and I proceeded to the restroom to tend to my wound. Now, I can't fully explain how badly this nail break was, and if you've never had this happen to you, you may just think I'm being a dumb girl. But the nail was torn so far down on my actual finger, I ended up having to clip the nail off...because it was still partly attached and ripping it off at this point would have likely caused me to pass out. Although clipping the nail wasn't all that pleasant either, I winced through the pain and other patron's sideways stares in the bathroom, bandaged myself up and went back to my shopping.
I finally managed to get the boxes with the bedside tables onto the cart and even managed to load them into the car with no further injuries. The problem now...getting them into my apartment. Two lessons learned today...never go to Ikea alone because you may need help with the heavy lifting and always carry band-aids in your purse. And the kicker is...I waited all this time until the store had these tables in stock so I could have them the day I bought them...I still have to wait until I can find someone to help me carry them inside. Who knows how long that could take?
Friday, November 28, 2008
you're jealous of your 82 year old grandma
At Thanksgiving dinner last night, my 82 year old grandma announced that she and her boyfriend of about 3 years have decided to get married.
I am SO happy for her, because she is the cutest lady and is so incredibly happy to have found this man. They have so much in common, and have known each other since high school, I mean seriously, how freakin cute is that.
My grandma was married for over 50 years to the love of her life, my grandpa. She was devastated when he died, and years later ran into her current boyfriend, whose wife had died about a year before he met back up with my grandma. They started hanging out, going to dinner, to concerts, traveling...and now have decided to be married. Between the two of them, they have 120 years of marriage and are both lucky enough to have found someone else to spend the rest of their days with.
Now, why, might you ask would I be jealous of this? That's simple...both of these folks have found two great loves of their life. Proving that their isn't just one person out there for everyone, its all a matter of timing and common interest and respect and companionship. I'm a bit jealous because at 31 years old I haven't been able to experience that kind of love even once. I feel like I may have come close at a couple different times in my life, but something always ends up falling apart. I can only hope to be as happy as my grandma when I'm her age.
I am SO happy for her, because she is the cutest lady and is so incredibly happy to have found this man. They have so much in common, and have known each other since high school, I mean seriously, how freakin cute is that.
My grandma was married for over 50 years to the love of her life, my grandpa. She was devastated when he died, and years later ran into her current boyfriend, whose wife had died about a year before he met back up with my grandma. They started hanging out, going to dinner, to concerts, traveling...and now have decided to be married. Between the two of them, they have 120 years of marriage and are both lucky enough to have found someone else to spend the rest of their days with.
Now, why, might you ask would I be jealous of this? That's simple...both of these folks have found two great loves of their life. Proving that their isn't just one person out there for everyone, its all a matter of timing and common interest and respect and companionship. I'm a bit jealous because at 31 years old I haven't been able to experience that kind of love even once. I feel like I may have come close at a couple different times in my life, but something always ends up falling apart. I can only hope to be as happy as my grandma when I'm her age.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
when you wake up fighting
So, over the past 6 days, since the horrible date incident, I have been waiting for an answer. Part of this man wants me in his life, and another part does not. The part of him that wants me around is only visible when he is sober...unfortunately, he spends most of his free time drunk.
Well, last night was no exception, and he was a complete jerk to me. I will admit that right now, I'm a bit on the crazy side...I mean, really, who likes to sit around waiting for someone else to decide his/her fate. I ask too many questions, and last night he decided to ignore all these questions, well, at least until after the bar closed when he called me at 2:45am. I was in no mood at this point, until I get a text saying "I'm gay. Eff off already." This message upset and confused me even more, was it true? was he just trying to be funny? I had to know, so I called him. He was so drunk he couldn't get much of a sentence out...
So, I was very upset at the whole chain of events and sent a rather nasty text myself, so that he would see it in the morning and hopefully remember what a jerk he was. Just as expected, he called first thing this morning claiming he didn't remember talking to me. We went round and round as we usually do...him with his "I'm sorry" and me with my "why cant' you like me" routine...all the while no answers being given.
I've become obsessed that he's going out with other women, and constantly asking him about his every move. He seems to be drinking more and more. WHAT AM I DOING??? This guy has ruined, completely ruined my entire vacation, not to mention Thanksgiving with my family. He obviously does not have the ability to consider my feelings in this situation at all. Why do I think this guy is good for me? He doesn't seem too concerned with the fact he may lose me...for good. At least if I wasn't around, no one would be calling him out on his inappropriate behavior, and he could drink his liver out without anyone saying a word.
Well, last night was no exception, and he was a complete jerk to me. I will admit that right now, I'm a bit on the crazy side...I mean, really, who likes to sit around waiting for someone else to decide his/her fate. I ask too many questions, and last night he decided to ignore all these questions, well, at least until after the bar closed when he called me at 2:45am. I was in no mood at this point, until I get a text saying "I'm gay. Eff off already." This message upset and confused me even more, was it true? was he just trying to be funny? I had to know, so I called him. He was so drunk he couldn't get much of a sentence out...
So, I was very upset at the whole chain of events and sent a rather nasty text myself, so that he would see it in the morning and hopefully remember what a jerk he was. Just as expected, he called first thing this morning claiming he didn't remember talking to me. We went round and round as we usually do...him with his "I'm sorry" and me with my "why cant' you like me" routine...all the while no answers being given.
I've become obsessed that he's going out with other women, and constantly asking him about his every move. He seems to be drinking more and more. WHAT AM I DOING??? This guy has ruined, completely ruined my entire vacation, not to mention Thanksgiving with my family. He obviously does not have the ability to consider my feelings in this situation at all. Why do I think this guy is good for me? He doesn't seem too concerned with the fact he may lose me...for good. At least if I wasn't around, no one would be calling him out on his inappropriate behavior, and he could drink his liver out without anyone saying a word.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
a date goes horribly wrong
So, a bit of history...I started dating a guy in March of this year and was really excited about the possibilities. He seemed different than guys I had dated in the past. He was sweet, funny, generous and seemed to really like me. This guy was and still is a really good guy.
Well...things can change in an instant for no apparent reason. After about 4 months of dating things shifted, he stopped being interested in me. He and I broke up. I was given the reason "I don't think I can make you happy." I've heard this before from the last 4 guys I dated. About 3 months after we broke up, we starting hanging out again, and talking more and more. I thought we were headed down the road to reconciliation...
Last week, he invited me to a nice dinner for this past Friday night. We had never gone out on a date like this, so naturally, I was very excited. I, being a dumb girl, thought he would profess his love for me and we would live happily ever after.
Well, instead of that...he showed up drunk and drove me to the restaurant (I didn't know just how much he had to drink, or I wouldn't have gotten in the car). We had some decent conversation until he brought up the fact that he thinks all women are cheaters and none of them can be trusted...and even though he thinks I'm a "good" girl, in 5 years I would probably end up just cheating on him because all women do.
After some debating on this fact, he brings up his ex-girlfriend and proceeds to start crying at the dinner table about the fact this girl was recently married. As if I didn't feel worthless enough at this point...
So, we finish up dinner and even though I told him I didn't want to stay out late that night because I had a flight in the morning, he wanted to go meet up with some of his friends...and even though I told him I was very angry, he continued on to pick up his friend, instead of stopping to take my feelings into consideration.
Needless to say, when we got to the restaurant to meet his friends, I was in no mood to socialize...especially not with a group of people who could only talk about inside jokes that I wasn't a part of. I felt so uncomfortable, so I excused myself to the restroom and had a mini melt down. I decided I couldn't stay in the situation so called a friend to come get me.
When I returned to the table, my date sent me a text message from across the table (because heaven forbid he speak to me directly) and asked me if I wanted to go home. Well, a little too late. I sent him a message back letting him know I had a friend coming to get me. This did not please him, but at this point I no longer cared about how he felt, as he obviously cared nothing about my feelings that night.
I got home, and at about the exact moment I started to feel relief that I was no longer in that situation, I realized...he had left his computer in my apartment...and I was leaving for vacation the next day. I had to see him again that night.
So, I asked him to come get it. He came over and I walked his computer down to him...and then stood there in the freezing cold while we fought a bit more. After coming to no conclusions, and knowing that he just wanted to get back to drinking with his friends, I went back upstairs. We then sent text messages back and forth for about 30 minutes...while he sat in my garage, being too much of an idiot to come up to my apartment and have a normal conversation. He finally ended up leaving to go back to his friends, leaving me heartbroken and with no answers.
Well...things can change in an instant for no apparent reason. After about 4 months of dating things shifted, he stopped being interested in me. He and I broke up. I was given the reason "I don't think I can make you happy." I've heard this before from the last 4 guys I dated. About 3 months after we broke up, we starting hanging out again, and talking more and more. I thought we were headed down the road to reconciliation...
Last week, he invited me to a nice dinner for this past Friday night. We had never gone out on a date like this, so naturally, I was very excited. I, being a dumb girl, thought he would profess his love for me and we would live happily ever after.
Well, instead of that...he showed up drunk and drove me to the restaurant (I didn't know just how much he had to drink, or I wouldn't have gotten in the car). We had some decent conversation until he brought up the fact that he thinks all women are cheaters and none of them can be trusted...and even though he thinks I'm a "good" girl, in 5 years I would probably end up just cheating on him because all women do.
After some debating on this fact, he brings up his ex-girlfriend and proceeds to start crying at the dinner table about the fact this girl was recently married. As if I didn't feel worthless enough at this point...
So, we finish up dinner and even though I told him I didn't want to stay out late that night because I had a flight in the morning, he wanted to go meet up with some of his friends...and even though I told him I was very angry, he continued on to pick up his friend, instead of stopping to take my feelings into consideration.
Needless to say, when we got to the restaurant to meet his friends, I was in no mood to socialize...especially not with a group of people who could only talk about inside jokes that I wasn't a part of. I felt so uncomfortable, so I excused myself to the restroom and had a mini melt down. I decided I couldn't stay in the situation so called a friend to come get me.
When I returned to the table, my date sent me a text message from across the table (because heaven forbid he speak to me directly) and asked me if I wanted to go home. Well, a little too late. I sent him a message back letting him know I had a friend coming to get me. This did not please him, but at this point I no longer cared about how he felt, as he obviously cared nothing about my feelings that night.
I got home, and at about the exact moment I started to feel relief that I was no longer in that situation, I realized...he had left his computer in my apartment...and I was leaving for vacation the next day. I had to see him again that night.
So, I asked him to come get it. He came over and I walked his computer down to him...and then stood there in the freezing cold while we fought a bit more. After coming to no conclusions, and knowing that he just wanted to get back to drinking with his friends, I went back upstairs. We then sent text messages back and forth for about 30 minutes...while he sat in my garage, being too much of an idiot to come up to my apartment and have a normal conversation. He finally ended up leaving to go back to his friends, leaving me heartbroken and with no answers.
things go bad
This incident occured March 26, 2006 while I was living in Indianapolis, IN:
So, I don't cook very often. Not a surprise when its just me living here...but last week I decided to cook some Lipton Cheddar and Broccoli rice for myself. Well, I didn't eat the whole thing because the package serves about 10 people. The bowl was still really hot, so I put it in the microwave to keep it warm, just in case I wanted more. Needless to say, I forgot the rice was in the microwave, and instead of moving it to the fridge where it belonged, it stayed in the microwave.
Imagine my surprise when I get home from a weekend out of town, to walk into my apartment which reaks to high heaven of something horribly putrid! I couldn't for the life of me figure out where the stench was coming from...until I'm in the shower and it came to me...That DAMN rice.
It was awful, not only did it stink up my apartment, but the microwave itself gave off a retched odor when I opened the door. My poor cat had to live with the smell all weekend, poor thing.
Thank god for the power of vinegar...the smell is fading, and I won't be cooking again for awhile!
So, I don't cook very often. Not a surprise when its just me living here...but last week I decided to cook some Lipton Cheddar and Broccoli rice for myself. Well, I didn't eat the whole thing because the package serves about 10 people. The bowl was still really hot, so I put it in the microwave to keep it warm, just in case I wanted more. Needless to say, I forgot the rice was in the microwave, and instead of moving it to the fridge where it belonged, it stayed in the microwave.
Imagine my surprise when I get home from a weekend out of town, to walk into my apartment which reaks to high heaven of something horribly putrid! I couldn't for the life of me figure out where the stench was coming from...until I'm in the shower and it came to me...That DAMN rice.
It was awful, not only did it stink up my apartment, but the microwave itself gave off a retched odor when I opened the door. My poor cat had to live with the smell all weekend, poor thing.
Thank god for the power of vinegar...the smell is fading, and I won't be cooking again for awhile!
you don't have a camera when you need one
This incident occured on July 30, 2008:
I was on my way home tonight and made a pit stop at the 7-11 just a few blocks from my place. As I pulled in, there was a car partially blocking the entrance that had smoke pouring out of the engine. I thought I noticed a glowing underneath the car, but the driver was getting out...so I didn't pay much attention to it.
I parked and proceeded into the store and made my purchase. This took about 2 minutes. By the time I walked out of the store, a small blaze had started under the smoking car...please keep in mind this is all happening a mere 5 feet from the gas pumps.
I had left my phone at home (to avoid checking for messages that would never come), so I went inside the store and let the clerks (all three of them) know that there was a car on fire in the parking lot.
Rather than immediately calling 911, one of them grabbed a small fire extiguisher and came outside. After fumbling around with the extinguisher for a few minutes (all the while the flames getting larger and now about 2 feet above the car) finally went back inside to call the fire department.
Now, not only do I have to wonder why the clerks didn't dial 911 immediately, but why on earth wouldn't the owners of that car-who were on their cell phone with someone-call the fire department as soon as the fire was noticed? By the time the fire fighters got there the entire front of this car was engulfed in flames. The car, needless to say, was ... (fill in the blank).
People never cease to amaze me. I only wished I did have my phone so I could've taken a picture of the ridculous scene. And...maybe I should have stuck around to meet some fire fighters...hmmm...shoulda coulda woulda, right?
I was on my way home tonight and made a pit stop at the 7-11 just a few blocks from my place. As I pulled in, there was a car partially blocking the entrance that had smoke pouring out of the engine. I thought I noticed a glowing underneath the car, but the driver was getting out...so I didn't pay much attention to it.
I parked and proceeded into the store and made my purchase. This took about 2 minutes. By the time I walked out of the store, a small blaze had started under the smoking car...please keep in mind this is all happening a mere 5 feet from the gas pumps.
I had left my phone at home (to avoid checking for messages that would never come), so I went inside the store and let the clerks (all three of them) know that there was a car on fire in the parking lot.
Rather than immediately calling 911, one of them grabbed a small fire extiguisher and came outside. After fumbling around with the extinguisher for a few minutes (all the while the flames getting larger and now about 2 feet above the car) finally went back inside to call the fire department.
Now, not only do I have to wonder why the clerks didn't dial 911 immediately, but why on earth wouldn't the owners of that car-who were on their cell phone with someone-call the fire department as soon as the fire was noticed? By the time the fire fighters got there the entire front of this car was engulfed in flames. The car, needless to say, was ... (fill in the blank).
People never cease to amaze me. I only wished I did have my phone so I could've taken a picture of the ridculous scene. And...maybe I should have stuck around to meet some fire fighters...hmmm...shoulda coulda woulda, right?
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