Espcially when you're not even sure why you keep doing it. It started last night...for no apparent reason I just kept crying. Not ugly crying, but crying non the less.
And then it happened again this morning in the car. This morning was triggered by a song. By Your Side by Sade...man, I swear that song does it every time. But today was different. Today and maybe even last night I think I started admitting something to myself that I hadn't wanted to face.
It's not going to work out for me. This thing with him...
He can't make any kind of plan with me, he still hasn't given me any indication that he actually likes me and besides that he has so much planned for next year that between him traveling Monday through Friday for work and his travel plans for like half the weekends of the year, I won't ever see him anyway. He doesn't care to make me a priority in his life, nor does he even care to make me a part of his life. I've caught glimpses of his ability to do so over the past month...but it never lasts.
I again ask myself the question...what am I doing? I need some plans for this weekend so that I'm not sitting around waiting for him to have nothing better to do-as I am around only as a last resort. Anyway, he's got his holiday party on Saturday night, which I was conveniently un-invited to attend. He'll probably be a drunk idiot all weekend anyway...I need to let this go...and move on with my life.
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